Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Counting my almonds

Today is the start of something amazing. That is what I am telling myself. Starting today, I am going to be 100% on the Zone for 8 weeks. I am going to measure everything and not allow myself even an inch of wiggle room. I have shown myself that wiggle room doesn’t work for me and that the only way to get the results I want is to dedicate 100% to it. I am about to start my triathlon training on top of doing crossfit 5 days a week. My body cannot afford to be fueled by anything but the most efficient and beneficial foods possible. So no more small cheats. No more big cheats. No more grabbing a handful of almonds or mindlessly consuming a bag of popcorn. I am done. I am so tired of working my tail off only to feel like I am not getting to where I want to be. I know that I need to work on my relationship to food and the way I think about success. But in the mean time, I need to be proactive about moving things forward. At the end of 8 weeks, having been 100% faithful to my workouts and eating, I hope to be purely satisfied with where I am. I am not going to put a number on it or set a specific goal. I just want to feel like I did everything I could to make change happen. I do not like feeling out of control or that I am fated to live a life of cycles of binging and dieting. I need to find the happy balance, but I think that will only come once I am satisfied with my progress. I am not happy about where I am physically at this point. Happy with how far I have come, of course. But not with my current progress. So 8 weeks it is. Without someone reviewing my food logs and being accountable only to myself. I am confident in being able to make this happen and I just need to take it one day at a time, one challenge at a time.

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