Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Words to Live By

I got a few words of wisdom from Zac yesterday. He is always there to check my on my BS, which I sincerely appreciate. To sum up, he told me to buck up, do what I know I can do, and don't be that person who gives up before they are finished.

It was exactly what I needed to hear.

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Friday, February 26, 2010

Ok to be Fat?

The link below goes to an ABC Nightline story about the "great weight debate." It asks, "Is it ok to be fat?"

The video is very thought provoking and I clearly have my own take on it. I think fat is too often the focus, when we should really be concerned with issues of weight. Fat is not ok in our culture, but what does it mean to be fat? I am fat, but I am not unhealthy. There is a striking difference between fat and obese and I think we as a society tend to go too far. Yes, you want to be healthy. Yes, being overweight can lead to a number of health issues. So, being healthy and being thin are often two sides of the same coin. But you can also be thin and seriously unhealthy. It is all about finding balance and what works for you and your body.

I think the woman's argument that yo-yo diets make you unhealthy and therefore you should not regulate what you eat is nuts. No, yo-yo diets don't work and they will probably make you unhealthy in the long run. But life and health are not about diets. You have to make lifestyle changes for lasting results and good health. Crossfit is a lifestyle change. Paleo is a lifestyle change. You focus on how good certain habits make you feel and so you forget about all the things you used to crave or wish you could have because they don't control you anymore.

We need to stop talking about fat and start talking about health. Would I love to be a size 2 and have 17% body fat? Sure. But if the cost is my health, it is not worth it. I think reaching those goals are totally attainable in a healthy way that doesn't revolve around dieting becoming thin, but rather on continually making informed decisions, hard work, and treating your body with the respect it deserves. I think this is the potential crossfit has to teach women especially. It is not all about how you look, but about how you feel and what you can accomplish.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Sunday is always a good day for me. It is a time to reflect on the week past and gear up for the week ahead. I have been "counting" my weight on Mondays as my official weight in terms of that week's progress. This has kept me more accountable over the weekend and Sundays this month have been a day for really dialing in my food and making sure I get in my workout.

Today was no different and hopefully tomorrow I will be rewarded. This was overall a good week, so I am proud of myself regardless.

Counting down to being home for spring break, and I want to be down another 5 pounds before then. fingers crossed!

Friday, February 19, 2010

The Fall Down

Seems I was walking in the wrong direction
I barely recognize my own reflection
Oh, scared of love but scared of life alone

Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby
Building walls around my heart to save me
Oh, but its time for me to let it go

Yeah I'm ready to feel now
No longer am afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again

Just when we think that love will never find you
You've run away but its still right behind you
Oh, its just something that we cant control

Yeah I'm ready to feel now
No longer am afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready to love again

So come and find me
I'll be waiting up for you
I'll be holding out for you tonight

Yeah I'm ready to feel now
No longer am afraid of the fall down
It must be time to move on now
Without the fear of how it might end
I guess I'm ready
Ready to love again
I'm ready to love again

*I feel this way about self-love, risk taking, and working out, not about romantic love. More than satisfied there. Think metaphor, people.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I Love this Pain

So I have been a bit of a Debbie-Downer as of late, but I think I am on the road to shaking it off. I have logged all my food for the last 3 weeks and it has really helped me stay accountable and realize what what I am putting in my body. It is nice to be able to look back and say, "Wow, I really should have had more protein today" or realize that perhaps the reason I was in a bad mood was because I was coming off a sugar high from my huge-ass cookie. But the other nice thing is that I have eaten a lot cleaner since I started writing things down. It just makes you want to have a good day on paper, a day to be proud of instead of a regret.

My non-crossfit workouts have been on point. I am running on my own twice a week, working out on the elliptical (I know I know) with a friend twice a week, have an hour long pilates class and do weights a few times a week. I am working on my push-ups and can tell a real difference when I keep up with them and when I am slacking.

Crossfit, on the other hand, has been suffering. I am trying to work it out, but I have really hit a wall. A huge, Great Wall of China wall and I am trying to figure out the best plan of attack. This is what I think I am most in a funk about, because it feels like a big part of my life is missing and/or no longer makes sense.

But I am trying to keep a positive attitude and be grateful for the things that are going well in life. I will be back in Austin mid-March for a week and a half and I can't wait to seem my husband, friends family and cat!

Thursday, February 4, 2010


doubt: a verb meaning a to lack confidence in: distrust

frustration: a noun meaning a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs

discourage: a verb meaning to deprive of confidence, hope, or spirit

That pretty much sums it up.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


I hate it. I really hate it. I have come to hate it a little less now than previously in life when I literally didn't run ever. But hate is still the right word. I am no good at it. I am slow and my lungs burn within about 2 minutes. If I can go 2 miles without stopping I feel good. SO it might sound crazy that I want to do a half-marathon. I am a long way from ready, but I think physically and mentally it would do wonders for me to train for one and then say I did it. I am not sure where or when yet, but this year will be the year of the half-marathon for me.

That being said, I ran 2 miles yesterday and did some sit ups and worked on my upper body. I will get a proper push-up in the next few weeks. I will I will I will.