Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Sunday, April 26, 2009


Every morning, at the stroke of five,
My alarm goes off and I get ready to drive,
In the dark and the cold and sometimes the wet,
To that infamous box just North on Burnet.

While others lay sleeping, I’m well on my way,
Anxiously waiting to see the workout of the day.
Will it be deadlifts or thrusters? Box jumps or a row?
When you walk into the gym, you just never know.

Will it will capitalize on your weakness or play up your skills,
But before you can worry, we start warm up drills.
“Butt lower. Knees higher.” echoes through the room.
“Wake up people,” we hear coach’s voice boom.

The clock begins: as many rounds as you can.
Today I’m just happy we aren’t doing “Fran.”
We lunge and we squat, we do pull ups chest to the bar.
People who drive by stop to gawk from afar.
You don't always finish the workouts you begin,
Everyone fights to get one more rep done.
“Time” is called and we all drop to the floor.
Sweaty and blistered, bloody and sore.

But tomorrow I know I’ll be at it again,
Because it hurts so good and you leave with new friends.
Without it I don’t know just how I’d survive,
Because there is nothing like crossfit to let you know you are alive.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A New Life

It is official: I am going to Columbia in the fall.

Wow. That is simultaneously one of the most exciting and frightening statements I have made in a long time. I am so ready to be back in school and working towards my long term professional goals. I love being a student and know that going to Columbia is going to help open a lot of doors for me. At the same time, New York City is not somewhere I ever thought I would live. Granted, it is only for a year, but it is still a daunting prospect. Moving to a new city, going to a challenging university, leaving my family and friends and work. I am scared that I will not be successful or that I am somehow making a mistake in going. I am scared to be on my own and have to radically alter every aspect of my life.

But what is it that is posted on the board at Crossfit Central? “Routine is the Enemy.” In the last 2 years, my life has been fairly predictable. It has been amazing, don’t get me wrong. But I have defiantly fallen into a comfortable cycle of work, working out, and spending time with family and friends. I am so happy with my life right now, and I am really scared to give that up. But I know that I have to in order to get where I want to be in the long run. I could easily see my life staying the same for years and years and being perfectly content. But I know that sooner or later, things have to change and the course of your life depends on how you prepare for that next phase.

So for a year I am going to do something that scares me. I am going to be on my own in New York City, taking hard classes and adjusting to living on a tight budget. I know I am going to get homesick and be sad and wish I could come home. But you know what? At the end of that year, I know that it is going to be well worth it. One year of hard work in order to make the rest of my life exactly what I want it to be. New York better watch out!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I Need to Run!

I am desperately trying to talk myself into going for a run. I hate running. It is hot. My MP3 player died on me. I am going for a run on Saturday and probably tomorrow as well. I want to go. I really do. My brain just talks my body out of it. I tell myself “Go home and rest for a bit then get on the treadmill.” That turns into watching TV on my couch trying to fight off bad food choices. I need to run. I need to go right after work, hit the trail, get it done before 6 pm, then have the rest of the night to relax. That is the only way it will happen.

Why is it so hard to do the things we know are good for us?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Another good start to my week. I had a good swim early on Saturday and took Sunday off. But I was out and about keeping busy so food wasn’t really an issue. I had a good workout Monday and this morning and plan on a 12 mile bike ride this afternoon. My cleans last night were much better than I feared, so that is encouraging. I need to get running again because I can definitely see and feel a difference when I do it regularly.

Mike and Zach also have me working on changing up my diet a little. Adding more fat and protein and breaking it up differently through out the day. This is evidently the “athletes approach to the zone.” I still have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I am an “athlete.” I have never thought of myself as one or even as someone who is overly active. I know since my activity level has increased, my body needs to have enough fuel to keep going and continue burning fat. We are just always taught that weight loss is the result of calories in vs. calories out, so adding calories always makes me cringe. But I know these guys know what they are talking about and that I am currently in a bit of a rut, despite eating clean and working my butt off. It may take me a little time to get the hang of it, but I have good teachers and I know they will help me figure it out.

I have to start looking at myself as what I want to be and am working on becoming, which is someone who is fit and healthy. Fake it till you make it, right? I think I am, I think I am, I think I am. I control my future. I choose my course.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I Hate the Scale

I refuse to be a slave to the scale. Refuse! After a less than stellar weekend my weight jumped up 6 pounds. On Wednesday I was down 4, but today I am back up 2. I really don’t get it. I know I didn’t put on two pounds yesterday. My brain knows that. But my heart still sinks. But I can’t let it get me down. I know that I just have to stand firm and do what I am doing and I will be rewarded. The key for me is not letting minor set backs or momentary disappointments get me permanently off course. This time I refuse to let a number on the scale ruin my day or my week and just know that all my hard work will pay off….sooner or later.