Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Past, Present and Future

As I work on getting back onto the road of success, it is easy to think about all the things I haven't completed or accomplished yet. No pull-ups. No Push-ups on toes. No double-unders. Haven't reached my goal weight, my running is still slow and I have yet to fully kick my fatal attraction to sugar. Sure. This is a sizable list. And when I write it all out, I can't help but get a little discouraged. But that attitude will get me nowhere. Focusing on the negative only brings about more negativity and that is not going to help me accomplish my goals. So instead, every now and then, I like to take a moment and deliberately think about what I have accomplished and where I have come from. So here is my journey in pictures (and witty comments, of course!):

At my heaviest....around 267 in 2006

...note the GREAT food choices....

If you could see a close up of my face, this pic would show how uncomfortable I was.

When I found Crossfit, everything changed.

I found amazing support from friends and kick-ass coaches at a place that is
much more than a gym

And I started doing things I had never done before...

...like a triathlon...

...and found out that I enjoyed being sweaty...

...which turned me into a gansta' which is clearly what I am.

So while I know I have a long way to go, I have to remember where I have come from. Celebrate the victories and rise to the challenge of the obstacles. I am determined that this will be the start of the final major push to reach my goals. Stubborn determination. I am nothing if not stubborn, so it's time to get it done.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Back on the Wagon

I finally made it back into the gym today. More than about time. I don't know why I put it off. It feels so good to get home after a workout and know that you started your day with a bang. I am sure I will pay for it tomorrow, but it's all good. I think I did ok. My cleans felt good, for once. My cardio is crap however. I really need to work on that. But baby steps in the right direction. I am committing to making it 3 mornings a week and as many saturdays as possible to get my ass kicked by Mike. I really have no excuse not to. At least no valid excuses. I will keep you posted.

The pic is the only time I drank while home for Christmas, but it is evidence of the month of poor choices!

Friday, January 29, 2010

You know what they say about pain...

So one of the last times I went to a workout with Mike at Crossfit Gotham, I walked away with a lovely gash from box jumps. This was over a month ago and I still have a huge mark on my leg that hasn't totally healed yet. This is the second time to have had a boxjump fail and walked away with an egg on my leg (hahaha...so funny). Needless to say, it makes me nervous to jump again. When I was home over break, I went to one Crossfit Central workout and of course, we did box jumps. Mine were pathetic and most of them were step ups. Pathetic step ups even. It made me realize that you have to be fearless if you want all the hard work to be worthwhile. Why work hard to get your body there if your mind is just going to stand in the way? So, 2010 will be the year of getting out of my own way. Thinking less, and letting my body do what it needs to do. I know that is easier said than done and I am fully aware that I over-think just about everything in life. But tomorrow I am going to hit my workout hard, finish strong, and see where it takes me.

In other news, my re-commitment to eating well is coming along. I have been slacking still on my workouts, but today that all changes.

Today's workout:
2 mile run
50 sit ups

Nothing amazing, but you have to start somewhere.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

It is time!

It is time. In all honestly, well past time. Since moving to New York, I have been full of excuses. Some valid, others not so much. But slowly, the person I worked so hard to become has been slipping away. The habits I worked on getting rid of have crept back into my life. That is not to say that I have thrown in the towel. But I have made some poor choices. So, I am done with that. I am tired of feeling like a victim, like I have to chose between working on my mind or working on my body, and as though I have no control over how I think, feel and look.

Today is a new day. A day I have had a few times before. Full of determination and conviction. I know the steps, I know how to be successful. I just give up or give in. But I am a 25 year old 4.0 GPA grad student at an ivy league university. There is absolutely no reason why I cannot figure out how to accomplish the goal of getting to where I want to be physically. No reason at all. So while there are no earth shattering revelations or realizations, I know it is time to get back to the basics. Time to do the things I know work. Sure, they will be a little different here seeing as I have no kitchen or refrigerator. But I can make it work with a little more effort and creativity than was needed at home. I have started a 'real' journal (the kind with paper that you write in with a pen!) to store all the torrid details. But I will use this blog to share major accomplishments, set-backs, discoveries, or other random information.

This is it. It is time.