Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Down to the Wire

I haven’t written anything in awhile. I guess I am just trying to figure out all the thoughts running around in my little head. I have been super busy getting everything ready for my move to New York in the fall. Flights, deposits, housing, registering for classes. I forgot how much stress and responsibility comes with going back to school! But I am super excited for it to get underway and know that the next year will be a worthwhile struggle.

As far as diet goes, I feel like I have been doing ok. Unfortunately, my body does not do ok with an ok diet. I have been maintaining for a few months now, with fluctuations of 5 pounds or so. I am not at my lowest weight, but I know some of the pounds I have put back on are muscle because my body fat is down. But I am zoning back in and trying to really hold myself accountable for my decisions, good and bad. I am trying not to beat myself up when I goof or give in, but rather relish the moments when I feel like I had a great day.

The first two weeks of July were a little jacked up in terms of workouts. It seems like on days when classes are cancelled, I find it hard to motivate myself. I am so used to having the structure of the gym that I make a million excuses when I am on my own. This worries me for New York. I am going to be on my own and 100% responsible for getting the work done. I am going to link up with an affiliate, but time and money are both going to be fairly limited. So I am going to follow the crossfit.com workouts and the ones posted by Crossfit Central. But I am just going to have to do it. It will be a great test and I know I can do it if I just commit to it.

I have 6 weeks left at Crossfit Central, which is beyond sad to me. I love those guys and I love working out there. But I know I will be back and hope to be able to continue the friendships I have made there while I am away. But I really want to use the next 6 weeks to push myself beyond where I am or have been and accomplish some of the things I have set out to do. The countdown is on and I tend to do well when I have the pressure of a deadline. I want to leave for New York feeling like I can take on anything and being 100% happy with where I am and the effort I have made.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Forward Motion

Looking back on where we have been can often be a great way to put the present into perspective. I often get down about my progress, or lack there of. I didn’t do that fast enough or I didn’t go heavy enough or I shouldn’t have eaten that cookie or I wish I could lose the last 10 pounds. Too many negative, self-deprecating thoughts will only lead to continued failure.

It is hard for me to be objective about myself, my body and abilities. I often don’t give myself enough credit or rejoice in my accomplishments. So today I decided to post a “Before/During” picture. I do not call this an “After” because I see my life as a continual journey. But it does show how far I have come and that there is a lot for me to be proud of.

Many of you have seen the before, which was taken spring break my senior year of college. The during pic was taken at the start of the Spartan 300 Challenge in May of this year. I put them side by side mostly to show myself, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have been successful. I have made progress and regardless of how slow and difficult the road has been, it has been worth every minute and drop of sweat. Although I look forward to the day when I can post a picture that makes the one from this year look like a different person, I am happy with where I am and know that I have been through something that many people will never experience. If I am strong enough to make the commitment to change my life, I am strong enough to continue to make the smart choices to keep me here. Forward motion, right? Forward motion.