Forward Motion

Again, it has been far too long since my last post. Time is flying by. I can't believe we are already into November and in 7 weeks I will be home and finished with my first semester of graduate school. So far, things has been going well. I am swamped with work Swamped. Tons of reading and papers every week. I feel like I am always carrying around some book with me, to get in a little work whenever I have extra time. But, the great thing is that I really love what I am doing right now. Everything I am reading and all the discussions I am having in class excite me and so it doesn't seem like such a burden to have to work so hard.

Keith is coming up on Monday, which I can't wait for. Hopefully we will get good weather and we can go do some tourist sight-seeing and such. I haven't done a crazy lot of that, so I look forward to seeing yet another side of the city.

Crossfit is going well. I got a handle on my eating and have lost about 6 pounds since I have been here....or at least since I starting caring again. It is hard to eat well here, but not impossible. I just need to be more deliberate with my choices and plan a little more accordingly. I am starting to feel like I am in control again, which is really nice. I am enjoying working out with the crew at Crossfit Gotham. It is a different vibe than Central, but that is to be expected. It is just fun to get to experience another affiliate and I think it is really comforting that there is that common thread I share with such a great community. Like anywhere I go, there is a build in network that I just have to contact. I will get a pull up, sold push ups and double-unders. I will.

I will try to get better about posting, but all in all, life is not that crazy. I feel comfortable in the city and I have found a routine. Well, as much of a routine as I can hope for right now. I just have to continue making forward motion. That is the name of the game.

A better week

I feel much more optimistic about things today. Last week I decided something had to give in terms of my diet and workout routine. On Monday, I bought a scale. Tuesday I decided to go paleo, had a good "last meal" (pictured here) and Wednesday I tried to make things happen. I haven't been 100%. I have had very minimal carbs, a wrap and an oatmeal cookie I think. I have had some yogurt and cheese. But all in all, I did much better with my diet. The hard thing is finding things to eat when I am not at my apartment and really hungry. But today I solved that problem in a way never done before. I ate tuna right out the packet. I felt like a goober while doing it, but it did the trick! Filled me up and got me through the next 4 hours studying in the library. Tomorrow will be my first official weigh in to see what progress I have made. I am hoping for a pound, but we shall see.

My workouts have also improved. I have hooked up with Crossfit Gotham and I really enjoy working with Mike. He is very attentive and I am working on my pull ups every time we meet. I need to try and get down there more than 3 times a week, but my schedule right now doesn't let me unless I go early in the morning, I am not 100% comfortable riding the subway in the dark. But we shall see. I am confident I will get a pull up in the next few months. Even if it just one ugly one. I just want to get my chin over the bar with my own strength!

School is going well and keeping my amazingly busy. I have so much reading to do this week, it is unreal. I also have a conference on Thursday and Friday and a 15-20 page research paper due next monday, which I have yet to start. Ah, the pressure of grad school. At least crossfit has prepared me to deal with mental challenges as well as physical ones!

Up a lot....and not in a good way

I broke down and bought a scale yesterday. It has seriously been over 6 weeks since I last weighed myself and I was dreading it. The last week I have really tried to be more aware of what I am eating, but I know the damage was already done. But being scared is not a good enough reason to continue to live in ignorance, so I got on. It was bad. Not as bad as I feared it might be, but bad. Lets just say that I was at my lowest at the end of I am Crossfit in March. Since then, I am up 23 pounds. Are you kidding me? That is ridiculous. I could make up every excuse in the book about why it happened, that I gained muscle and that I was sick and was in transition and blah blah blah. The point is that it is a slippery slippery slope back into an old life that I thought I had long put behind me. It only goes to show you cannot get comfortable, cannot be lax in your commitment.

Like I said, the last week has been better. I worked out 4 times last week in addition to walking a million miles. I hooked up with a new crossfit affiliate, Crossfit Gotham, and look forward to getting my butt kicked with them a few times a week. But really, the major problem in the food. I finally stopped drinking diet soda after a few weeks of indulgence. And I have eliminated the mindless snacking in between meals. If I can just clean up my meals, I will be ok. I just have to remind myself that it is ok if I am not 100% like I was at home. If I eat some toast, that doesn't mean I have ruined my day and/or give me permission to eat like crap for the rest of the day.

I know I can do this. Not just for myself, but for all the people who have put time/effort/energy/love into helping me get my life on track.