Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Let's Get It Started

In Hawaiian, the work Onipa'a means "stand firm." This term was used by the last queen of Hawai'i to give strength and encouragement to her people during the overthrow of the Hawaiian monarchy. When I first come across it, something about this word resonated with me and over the years it has become my personal motto. As I get older and begin facing issues of real consequence, I find myself more and more going back to this phrase. Onipa'a. Stand firm. Commit. Achieve. Believe. Push through. Have faith. Be strong.

Heading into the New Year, I have decided to begin a blog to help me stay strong and finally accomplish some of the things I have been working on for years. The first of these is getting into graduate school, and I am happy to say that I am currently on my way there. The second thing, however, is a little more difficult. I want to finally get to the point in my life where I am 100% happy with my body.

Let me clarify a little. As a person, I think I am great. It took me a long time to really love myself, but I can honestly say that I do. So when I say that I want to be happy with my body, it is not coming from a self-deprecating or "woe is me" kind of place. Rather, I have been working so hard for so long and I have made so many changes, that I want to finally be able to feel like I have done what I set out to do. Not that there won't be room for improvement of that I won't continue to work just as hard as I am now. But I want to be able to look in the mirror and say, "Mission accomplished."

Some might say that this is vanity. Some might say that I shouldn't measure my success by the how I look in clothes. To that I say you are correct and if that is all it was to me, I would have given up long ago. I do not want to be "perfect" or value looks over health and well being. I just want to be at that place where I feel like my initial goals were successfully attained and I can begin working towards the next step, whatever that might be.

So that is it…the start of a blog to help me stay strong. To help me figure it all out and articulate my often convoluted thoughts. I will write about my workouts, my diet, my ups and downs. I am going to be as honest as I can be and share the things I probably otherwise wouldn't. So follow along if you can, comment freely and judge if you will. But this is for me. Onipa'a ku'uipo.


J-Lee said...
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J-Lee said...

mi corazon, i have mad respect for you for all you've done for yourself. i respected and loved you before, but the respect and love has probably changed as it does, i think, while we grow older (hahaha...sounds like we're 50). but i have another perspective to that now, because i'm so proud of you and happy for you for all you've been able to change and overcome. you, my friend, are absolutely amazing! we all secretly have our insecurities that we do or don't talk about...and i suspect that a majority of us can relate to you even better than you could imagine. <3

i'm standing firm with you!