Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Don't cry over....burgers and fries?

Today was filled with a lot of running around, buying Christmas gifts and trying to get organized. I ate a solid brekfast, but didn't count on being gone from home so long. 1 pm came around and I was starving! Keith stopped at dan's to get a burger and fries, and I was going to drop by Mr. Natural's. Only problem was that Mr. Natural's was closed on Sunday. By then it was about 2 and I was ticked off because I literally felt like there was nothing to eat. I don't know if I am just trying to be too hardcore, but everything you can get on the road is fried or full of fat and oil or bread or whatever. It is a slippery slope for me and I just didn't want to give myself any allowances. So instead, I had a break down. Probably the biggest one I have had in a long time. Poor Keith was there trying to enjoy his food and I was just driving around sobbing. I think there was two major things that were bugging me. One was that I was hungry and there was nothing to eat. The second thing was I think I am just tired of not being able to eat a hamburger or fries. I mean, I know that I can and every now and then is not going to kill me. But I am not that way. I am an all or nothing kind of person. For now, I know that if I get a burger once, it is going to throw off my eating for a week or more. I will get the taste for it again and will start craving all kinds of bad stuff and nothing good will satisfy me. So I think I was crying for a burger. I wish I were at the point in my life where I could just eat a burger. But I know it is not worth it. I am proud of myself because I didn't give in and instead ran into Central Market and made a salad. So I stayed strong, it was just an eye opener that this is really about more than food or working out. It is about changing my lifestyal and my state of mind. And while I know that I have come a long way, I know that there is still a long way to go.

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