Keep on Swimming

I am about 3 weeks into my renewed commitment to getting healthy and losing weight. I am down about 9 pounds, which is about 3 pounds a week. I wanted 4, but I will take 3. I just need to keep it up. I have been working out more often, but no as much as I should. I do a body sculpt class on Mondays and a less formal one with some girls in my building on Fridays and Sundays. I need to up the cardio though....for sure.

In addition, I have only had one melt down. I stayed strong, but I was full of doubt and frustration and anger. Seriously. I hate feeling like I am working hard and not seeing results. But this comes from not looking at the big picture. 9 pounds in 3 weeks is progress. Could it be more? Sure. But it is progress and I need to be proud of myself and know that things are working.

So I just need to keep on swimming. Swim swim swimming.

Here we go again

On Friday of last week, September 10th to be exact, I started to get serious. This summer was a HUGE bust in terms of getting my health and weight back on track. HUGE. I had lovely plans of all the wonderful things I would accomplish, yet none of them happened. In fact, I gained weight. Eighteen pounds to be exact. That is what is so scary to me. I gained eighteen pounds in three months. And I didn't even really notice. I mean I did in terms of my clothes not fitting and the general feeling of defeat. But I just kept letting it go and pushing the clear need to take action aside.

So last Friday I began again. I am not sure how may bursts of re-commitment it will take before I actually accomplish what I set out four years ago to do. But I cannot succeed if I do not try, try, try again.

I am doing things a little differently this time. I am on Nutrisystem again. I used it four years ago when I first started to lose weight and it worked. Since then, my ideas about health and food have seriously changed and I am in no way fooling myself into thinking that NS food is healthy. However, it will make me lose weight. It is portion controlled and far less expensive than eating out every meal in NYC. I do not plan to be on it more than a few months, but I was clearly out of control when I was going it alone. So I am hoping it will kick-start my newest attempt to get the weight off and get back on the road to good health and happiness.

So far, I have lost eight pounds. I am happy about that, but fairly shocked that I am still ten pounds heavier than at the start of the summer. I have still been lazy about working out because I have fallen out of the habit. But this week I am going to push it that extra bit and get in some serious workouts. My goal is to be back within 5 pounds of my lowest weight before I go home for thanksgiving, which means I need to lose between 3 and 4 pounds a week. I know it is asking a lot, but if not now, when?

So here we go again.

Progress

My week 1 weight goal was met. 3 pounds. I am aiming for 3 pounds for the next 3 weeks till I go home. Then I can start the summer on the right foot and it will push me that much harder to finish this thing already. This September will make it 4 years since I started to get healthy, and while I have made big changes, there is still a ways to go. So my goal for next week is another 3 pounds, which I know I can do if I get in my workout and eat at least somewhat rationally.

I didn't work out as much this week as I had planned due to illness. But I am on the mend, so hope to get in a good one in the next day or two.

I am nervous about going home for the summer and getting back into crossfit. It has been a long time and I know I have lost a lot of ground since I left. But fear is no longer enough to stop me from doing the things I know I need to get done, so I will be back at it in June.

2 in 5

Home in a week! I am super excited. This semester seems to be blowing by at the speed of light. Once I get back from spring break, my two best friends from college are coming, and then I only have about 6 weeks left before summer. That is nuts. I am starting to worry about summer plans, but I have a lot of other stuff to get done before then.

Speaking of things to get done, my goal was to back at a satisfactory weight before going home. I am not going to divulge exactly what that number is (call me old-fashioned), but I have 2 more pounds to go before I get there. 2 pounds before Wednesday? If I stay on top of my eating and workouts I think I can do it.

Going home this time will be better than Christmas, I think. At Christmas, I was really annoyed with my body and my lack of motivation. I was almost embarrassed to go to Central because of the weight I had put back on. While I am still a few pounds heavier than I was before I stopped working out there, I am much closer to where I left off. Plus there is something to be said for the impact confidence has in the way present yourself and come off to others. So this time I hope to get in 2 workouts with the old crew. I know the will kick my ass, but I am looking forward to it!

So 2 pounds in 5 days is on my mind right now. Then it will be another 5 before I hit my pre-swine flu weight, then 9 more to match my lowest weight ever, and then 6 more to my goal. Breaking it up that way makes it seem far more do-able. Like I always say, forward motion is key and I feel more motivated than I have since coming to NYC.

I Love this Pain

So I have been a bit of a Debbie-Downer as of late, but I think I am on the road to shaking it off. I have logged all my food for the last 3 weeks and it has really helped me stay accountable and realize what what I am putting in my body. It is nice to be able to look back and say, "Wow, I really should have had more protein today" or realize that perhaps the reason I was in a bad mood was because I was coming off a sugar high from my huge-ass cookie. But the other nice thing is that I have eaten a lot cleaner since I started writing things down. It just makes you want to have a good day on paper, a day to be proud of instead of a regret.

My non-crossfit workouts have been on point. I am running on my own twice a week, working out on the elliptical (I know I know) with a friend twice a week, have an hour long pilates class and do weights a few times a week. I am working on my push-ups and can tell a real difference when I keep up with them and when I am slacking.

Crossfit, on the other hand, has been suffering. I am trying to work it out, but I have really hit a wall. A huge, Great Wall of China wall and I am trying to figure out the best plan of attack. This is what I think I am most in a funk about, because it feels like a big part of my life is missing and/or no longer makes sense.

But I am trying to keep a positive attitude and be grateful for the things that are going well in life. I will be back in Austin mid-March for a week and a half and I can't wait to seem my husband, friends family and cat!