Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Monday, February 23, 2009


I just got home from doing "Grace." A seemingly simple WOD. 30 clean and jerks. This is a fast workout involving getting heavy weight above your head. I am not good at this. Heavy weights are not my favorite and I usually struggle with the clean. Tonight was no different. Perscribed female weight was 95 pounds. I cannot clean 95 pounds and had a hard time doing 85 the other day in class. So I put 65 pounds on my bar and what do I hear? "Susannah, you can go heavier." Heavier? Heavier? Are you nuts? I really didn't want to go heavier because I know how hard it is for me to clean heavy weights. But if there is one thing I hate it is disappointing people. And Mike was giving me that look like, "I expect you to go heavier." So I went up to 75 pounds. And it was hard. Once I get the bar into the front rack position, I can get it up the rest of the way no problem. But it is so hard for me to clean the bar. But I did it. Yes, it took me longer than everyone else. But I went for it. So I am proud of myself. And you know what? I have to do it for myself and not for anyone else. Sometimes it bothers me that I have been doing this for almost a year and there are people who have only been there a few months who can blow me away. Mike made a comment along those lines tonight and at first it bugged me. I don't like to feel like I am not as good as I should be or that I am not giving it my all. But then something went off in my head. Just do it! No, I might not be as far along as I could be or should be or whatever. But I have come a long long way and I just need to keep on working it and pushing it and make sure that I don't get comfortable. So thanks Mike for pushing me harder than I push myself and giving me the support and edge that I need to go further. Kick it up! No excuses, right?

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