Sometimes the moments we feel most lost are the ones in which we find ourselves

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy, lazy Jane

At one of my last workouts with Crossfit Central, the eternal optimist Andy told me I was lazy. I was appalled. Me? Lazy? Do you see me busting my ass out here every day? Lugging my less than slim frame up and down the black top, pushing beyond my limits. I argued vehemently that I was not lazy, and stayed after class to run 6 400m sprints just to prove my point.

Fast-forward 4 weeks...and I am lazy. Yeah, yeah. I am in a transitional phase. So what? I don't have a refrigerator or kitchen. So what? Why does that give me permission to make poor choices? There is always a good alternative and a bad one, and I have been allowing myself way too much slack. I have worked out maybe 5 times since I have moved here. I am tired. I have too much homework. My schedule just doesn't fit. I hate running. All of these things pop into my mind. I let them justify not doing the work I have to. it is easier to grab a muffin and head to the library than it is to take 15 minutes and sit down and eat a descent breakfast. It is easier to grab a sandwich at the deli than to find a place with a good salad. The easy way out doesn't cut it.

My clothes are NOTICEABLY tighter, and since I didn't bring my scale with me (gasp!) that is a good enough indicator for me that I am not moving in the right direction. I do not want my body to be neglected as I attempt to expand my mind. No expansion of the waist line!

So tomorrow I am starting fresh. I am getting up and going for a run. Then I am showing and going to eat a breakfast of 2 eggs, some fruit, maybe a piece of toast and some coffee. Then I am heading to the library to write a paper that I would rather not have to think about. Then I am going to come back here to the dining hall and make a good, balanced salad for lunch. I will then return to the library with an apple and almond butter in tow, go to class, get home about 9, eat a sensible dinner, and go to bed at a reasonable hour. All the while drinking enough water, avoiding diet soda and mindless snacking.

This seems easy enough and it is something that I previously took for granted being able to do. I have fallen back on bad habits and I know it will be work to break myself of them. But i would be mortified if I came back to CC in worse shape than I left. I would be disappointed in myself for letting all that work be for nothing and for ignoring what I know is good for my body and soul.

So tomorrow is a new day. A fresh start at continuing something I started 3 years ago now. I know it is a life long struggle, but I am ready to reach a place where I am really happy with myself. I am almost there. I can feel it.

I will no longer be lazy!!!!

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